MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF The major challenge is seeing the opportunities when we are in pain. |
Many of us think that "if only" our expectations are fulfilled, then we can be happy. We look for something external to ourselves to fill a (perceived) void within.
Once we realize, finally and fully, without any doubts at all, that we are complete as we are, totally whole individuals, an incredible sense of peace descends. There is no need to strive, to seek, to search outside of oneself for happiness. No obligation to merge in order to feel complete. No necessity to find in another that which was perceived missing in one’s self. There is a freedom from struggle. A letting go of effort. It's relaxing, joyous, energizing. It's being home wherever you are, whenever your heart is open. It is safety. It is your true Self. We perceived ourselves as lacking in some way, and we were attracted to others who seemed to complete us, fill in the blanks, offer what we were seeking. Once we know that we are complete, we lose the desperation of the search. People may come and go in our lives, but we don’t tie to any one of them the ability to make us or break us. We can be happy to share our time, our bodies, our lives with someone else, but we can do it as equals, without expectations or judgments. Perhaps the “happily ever after” needs to be edited to "happily each day". Rather than seek the Prince on the horse or the damsel in need, we can drop the fantasy and be receptive to reality. We can look within ourselves to find the communication, companionship, and connection we are seeking. Let our quest become an internal one. Let our pursuit focus on self awareness, self care and self love. Then we can nurture our hearts, our light, our ability to feel joy, and attract into our lives healthy people who are doing the same. |
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Linda B. Kroll, JD, LCPC
Therapist, Mediator, Attorney 400 Lake Cook Road, Suite 217 Deerfield, Illinois, 60015 (847) 914-0560 www.lindakroll.com |